


A Kind, Sober and Fully Dressed Halloween

by dontletthenarglessneakuponyou



Series: Moments In The SHIELD Life [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Costumes, Gen, Halloween, because even secret government agencies need to have some fun, clint is a little shit sometimes, coulson made a sex tape, hill wants to just have a good time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 17:11:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17626283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontletthenarglessneakuponyou/pseuds/dontletthenarglessneakuponyou
Summary: In which Coulson just wants to go home, and some of SHIELD's best celebrate halloween.





	A Kind, Sober and Fully Dressed Halloween

Director Fury had called a gathering of the usual group in Conference Room 99. The only ones who showed up so far were the ever loyal Maria Hill and Phil Coulson along with Clint Barton who was only there because Coulson had dragged him along. Today was Coulson's least favorite day of the year, and this year, Fury was really pushing his buttons, assigning both him and Hill to patrol duty. The Director had finally walked in followed by Sitwell, May and Romanoff.

"Coulson, I know that you hate Halloween, but stick with me and I know you will love it." Hill says enthusiastically as Coulson is ordered by the director to patrol the annual shield Halloween bash.

"Can you magically make everyone kind, sober and fully dressed?" Coulson answers sarcastically.

"Kind, sober, and fully dressed." Hawkeye repeats as lazily he stares up at the ceiling while lounging back in his chair. Grinning he looks at the other members in the room, "good news everyone. We found the name of Coulson's sex tape."

BONUS:

It was very late Halloween night and Coulson was feeling bad for how he had treated Hill. She was one of his best friends and he would do just about anything for her, which is why he had taken the time to go down to the SHIELD costume department and pick out a punishment costume so that Hill wouldn't be the only one dressed up. He also dragged Barton and Romanoff along so that he would not be alone. And May with Sitwell had followed.

Coulson was still ducked in his dressing room when he heard the others ready to leave. He peaked out the crack to see what they had dressed as and hopefully alleviate some of his embarrassment for his own costume.

Sitwell was wearing a black greasy wig and long black robes, clearly Snape from Harry Potter. It was kind of creepy, but not as bad as Coulson's own costume.

May was wearing what looked like armor as she yanked her hair up into a bun. She was obviously Mulan from the Disney movie; it was a step up from her costume last year, which was her normal SHIELD jumpsuit. When asked she had told people that she was Maria Hill, then she would bark an order and storm off. Hill herself who had been dressed as pirate lost it and almost cracked a rib laughing so hard.

Barton and Romanoff were both wearing black t-shirts (though Natasha's was more like a crop top with long sleeves) and cargo pants. Clint was trying to stuff some pink stuffed animal into his pocket while Nat kept throwing her hair over her shoulder and repeating the phrase "What's the sitch?" Coulson had no idea what they were supposed to be dressed as but they were clearly enjoying themselves talking about nachos and naked mole rats.

Suddenly Hill walks into the room and Coulson takes a deep breath and steps out.

"You know how I think Halloween is for jerks?" Coulson begins, as everyone in the room is clearly trying not to laugh. "Well, this Halloween, I was the jerk. I'm sorry about tonight."

"I'm sorry about tonight, we found the title for Coulson's follow-up sex tape" Barton says through his tears at Coulson's costume.

"I'm sorry I couldn't convince you to love Halloween" hill responds as she looks Coulson up and down from the blue heels to the red hat with the lipstick in between.

"It's not your fault. I was terrible-"

"It's not your fault I was terrible is also one of your sex tapes." Barton interrupts again, clearly enjoying himself as he and Romanoff take pictures of their handler which is clearly going to be sent to everybody they know.

"Halloween is unbearable" Coulson continues as if his two protégés are not even in the room. "But it was slightly less unbearable with you. Don't." Coulson finishes not even needed to look in the Hawk's direction to know what the young man wants to say next.

Coulson and Hill, now friends again after Coulson's confession spend the rest of the night with May pranking the lower level agents, while all of the avengers get an anonymous email of a one Agent Phil Coulson dressed up as SHIELD legend Peggy Carter.


End file.
